How to Annoy a Bartender in Less than a Minute

things-that-annoy-bartenders

Your local watering hole—the bar.

It’s a place to relax and unwind with friends, a place to have a good time, and maybe even meet up with new people along the way.

But if you’re not careful, it can also be a place where you end up pissing someone off. And that person could be your bartender—and trust me, they don’t like it. Neither will you! Your local watering hole could turn into a festering ground for annoyance and really bad cocktails.

To help you stay out of the doghouse (or at least make sure your drink arrives properly made), here are some phrases that annoy bartenders everywhere.

Don’t Be a Duke

Duke was a regular at the local bar, an old dive tucked away in a quiet corner of town. He’d been coming here for years and knew all the bartenders by name. Today he had stopped by to grab a quick beer before heading home.

As Duke ordered his drink, he made sure to say the same phrase every time: “Make it snappy!” The bartender always rolled their eyes when they heard him, but today something was different. Instead of just rolling their eyes, the bartender slammed down Duke’s beer and said “Is that really necessary?”

Duke was taken aback – no one had ever spoken to him like that before! He began to apologize profusely for offending them, but the bartender cut him off with an icy glare and said “I don’t want to hear any more ‘make it snappy’ phrases from you again.”

Realizing he’d messed up big time, Duke quickly paid for his beer and left without another word. From then on out, whenever Duke stopped by the bar he made sure not to use that phrase ever again!

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7 Phrases to Piss Your Bartender Off

"What's On Special?"

Listen, bartending is an art form, not a menu. If there are specials written up on the board or on the menu, great! But asking what’s on special every time you come in is just going to get old fast.

Trust us, if we have something special that night, we’ll let you know about it!

"Can I Have a...(long list of ingredients)?"

This one might sound familiar—it’s the infamous “bartender’s choice.” Sure, we can try our best to craft something delicious for you based on those ingredients…but chances are it won’t be quite what you were expecting! Save yourself some disappointment and stick to ordering classic cocktails off the menu instead.

"I'll Have What He/She Is Having"

We get it—sometimes someone orders something that looks so good that you just have to have it too! That said, please don’t simply point at someone else’s drink and tell us “I’ll have what he/she is having.” Not only does this put unnecessary pressure on us to remember what their order was (especially if they ordered several drinks!), but how do we know that particular cocktail is going to be good for YOU? After all, everyone has different tastes!

"I'm not sure, just surprise me."

Again, this shows a lack of thought on your part and puts the bartender in an uncomfortable position. It’s always best to have at least some idea of what you want to drink before you approach the bar. That way, the bartender can make a recommendation based on your preferences instead of just guessing.

Bonus! Here’s a video that will give you and anyone who goes out to eat at a bar or restaurant a solid guide on how to not annoy a server, or you, the bartender.

"I don't like (insert liquor here), so just make something with (insert different liquor here)."

This one is just annoying because it shows that you don’t know what you’re talking about. If you don’t like a certain liquor, chances are good that you won’t like anything made with it either. It’s always best to be specific about what you do and don’t like so that the bartender can make a more informed decision about what to make for you.

"Can I get a (insert drink here) with a twist?"

This one isn’t necessarily annoying, but it does show that you’re not familiar with the drink you’re ordering. A twist is simply a piece of citrus peel that is used as a garnish, so asking for one in your drink is unnecessary and will likely just confuse the bartender. If you want a twist in your drink, just ask for it without specifying what kind of drink you want it in.

"I'll have a (insert drink here), but can you make it weak/strong?"

This is another one that isn’t necessarily annoying, but it shows that you’re not familiar with the drink you’re ordering. Asking for a drink to be made weak or strong simply means that you want more or less of the liquor in it, which is something that most bartenders will automatically do anyway. If you want your drink to be made specifically weak or strong, just ask for it without specifying what kind of drink you want it in

Speaking Not Required: Ways to Annoy a Bartender Without Words

Making a bartender’s night harder than it needs to be is pretty simple. So easy, you can actually do it without using words at all.

From reaching out across the bar and screaming your order to snapping your fingers for service, or even just simply not having your order ready, bartenders have enough to deal with already.

Overstaying your welcome at the bar is a practical foolproof way of making sure that the bartender wants you gone ASAP – especially if you decide to play loud music for yourself/your party.

And last but not least, there’s never anything more annoying than placing an order and then disappearing before collecting it – don’t be that person!

Here’s a list to break things down for everyone:

Making a bartender’s night harder than it needs to be is pretty simple. So easy, you can actually do it without using words at all. 

From reaching out across the bar and screaming your order to snapping your fingers for service, or even just simply not having your order ready, bartenders have enough to deal with already.

Overstaying your welcome at the bar is a practical foolproof way of making sure that the bartender wants you gone ASAP – especially if you decide to play loud music for yourself/your party. 

And last but not least, there’s never anything more annoying than placing an order and then disappearing before collecting it – don’t be that person! 

Here’s a list to break things down for everyone:

  • Play with your straw. Those straws were meant for drinking, not your disgusting hand.
  • Constantly check your phone. 
  • Occupy a barstool for an unpaying object or child. Unless the entire bar is empty, please don’t plan to use the barstool for anything except a human butt that is of age and can tip a bartender properly. 
  • Send your drink back multiple times. Send it back once, that’s fine. But a few times? Just order something else–you don’t like the cocktail. 
  • Get handsy with the bartender. Don’t touch anyone while they’re working. Plain and simple.
  • Throw money at the bartender instead of tipping properly. Unless your bartender or server consents to your throwing of money, this is just rude. Hint: You’re not a club!
  • Ignore the bartender. There’s a fine balance of being courteous and annoying. Interact with us, but don’t ignore us like we’re robots. 
  • Snap your fingers or wave to get attention. Use your words! You’re an adult. You should know them by now, right?
  • Play loud music for yourself or your party. The music at a bar or restaurant is typically picked for a reason. And you’re not the paid D.J., are you? 
  • Stay a long time, AKA “camping”. If you plan to stay a while, just tip accordingly for the time spent at the table. 
  • Not being ready with an order.
  • Interrupt with a bartender is talking with someone else.
  • Smell bad. Don’t ruin the bartender’s working environment by stinking up their bar! You honestly will turn people away from the bar with your stinky self!
  • Make a weird amount of eye contact. If you need something, yes—you’re allowed to look at me a little longer. But don’t stare at me over the rip of your glass while I’m washing dishes. That’s just weird. 
  • Use passive communication methods. Just tell me what you want. What you really, really want.
  • Expecting bartenders to be magical fairies who can read your mind and make instant cocktails. 
  • Snack out of our fruit tray. That’s gross. Keep your dirty paws out!
  • Rip up your napkin or coaster. I get it, you’re nervous about the date. Unless you plan to clean your confetti, please tear the paper up like a puppy at your own house!
ways-to-annoy-a-bartender

Be Less Annoyed with the Help of Local Bartending School

At the end of the day, we want all of our customers to feel welcome in our bar and enjoy their experience.

Plus, nobody likes going to bars and clubs only to encounter grumpy bartenders.

Luckily, there is a way for you to prevent that from happening.

Knowing which phrases and behaviors actively annoy bartenders can help you keep yourself out of trouble the next time you hit up your favorite watering hole.

And if you want to learn more about the ins and outs of being a bartender, consider taking classes at Local Bartending School—not only will it help other customers enjoy their experience even more, but it could also help you make some extra money on the side!

So don’t let fear keep you away; break down any barriers between yourself and a pleasant bar experience by not annoying your bartender.

We want to hear from you! What’s the most annoying thing to happen to you while bartending? Post in the comments below or find us on Instagram to send us a direct message.

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Carrie Jean Lipe

Carrie Lipe has been writing creatively since childhood but jump-started her professional writing after college. She's an Indiana native, Ball State Hospitality graduate, and a bartender with over 10+ years in the industry. You can find her making basil Moscow mules when she's not writing. Follow her professional journey on Instagram! @contentbycarriejean